


==> Dave: Save Valentine’s Day In The Most Unironic Romantic Way Possible

by nocturnalScribbler



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, Homestuck AU, M/M, Valentinestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:52:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalScribbler/pseuds/nocturnalScribbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Valentine's Day.</p><p>John's alone at home, eating junk food and watching movies.</p><p>Dave isn't OK with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	==> Dave: Save Valentine’s Day In The Most Unironic Romantic Way Possible

**Author's Note:**

> Really quick, does anyone know how to modify the pesterlog so it actually matches the font and colors used in MSPA? I lack the know how right now, and I would appreciate the help. >_> Anyway...
> 
> I was determined to get this done on time! And I did it. And lots of thanks to my friend Jess for giving me funny things to put in my story when I was stuck, haha.
> 
> Sorry if John and Dave are ooc, I hope you like this either way!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day. <3

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:31 --**

**TG: yo**  
 **EB: hey dave!**  
 **EB: what's up?**  
 **TG: nothin much**  
 **TG: figured id see what my bros up to on this sugar induced coma of a day**  
 **EB: i'm just at home, i'm not really planning on doing anything today.**  
 **EB: what about you, mr. cool kid? got any romantic plans?**  
 **EB: hehe.**  
 **TG: oh you know it**  
 **TG: so fucking romantic that cupid himself is spinning on his bald baby head in pure shock because hes so in awe of me**  
 **EB: oh.**  
 **TG: oh?**  
 **EB: that's awesome, dave.**  
 **EB: i hope you have fun.**  
 **TG: im a Strider**  
 **TG: were the definition of fun**  
 **TG: so what are you gonna do today then**  
 **TG: watch your shitty nic cage movies**  
 **EB: nic cage is awesome, don't deny it dave!**  
 **TG: yeah ok whatever**  
 **TG: so you got a date with your hand tonight then**  
 **TG: handa montana**  
 **TG: pamela handerson**  
 **TG: wristie alley**  
 **EB: oh god!**  
 **EB: ewww dave, stop!**  
 **EB: no more!**  
 **EB: i'm not doing anything tonight!**  
 **EB: just watching movies and eating junk food!**  
 **TG: ok egbert keep your pants on**  
 **EB: dave!!!**  
 **TG: in my defense i meant it in the least perverted way possible**  
 **TG: ...**  
 **TG: maybe**  
 **EB: bluh!**

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:46 --**

**TG: ok im sorry**  
 **TG: youre really not doing anything today**

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:48 --**

**EB: no, i'm not.**  
 **EB: have fun on your ironic romantic date or whatever.**

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:48 --**

*****

John sighed as he rummaged through the freezer, a spoon in his mouth as he retrieved a carton of ice cream. He shut the freezer door with his foot and headed into the living room, flopping heavily onto the couch and tugging the lid of the ice cream off. The living room was dark, all the shades drawn and the lights turned off to achieve the optimum movie theatre experience. John had donned his laze-about-the-house attire - a t-shirt and a comfy pair of sweatpants.

Today was just a normal lazy day. Nope, there was nothing particular about today. February 14th was just your run of the mill February days. It wasn’t special at all. At least, not to anyone who was single. To this thought, John shoved a spoonful if ice cream into his mouth and grabbed the remote, jabbing the play button with his thumb and watching as the trailers rolled by. He was on his fourth Nic Cage movie now, trying to avoid the overly-romantic ones and opting for more badass ones like Gone In Sixty Seconds, Ghost Rider, Matchstick Men and the like. He even passed up Con Air _just this once_. It’s not like he was in love and the ending would be a trigger or anything. That would be _stupid_. Because he’s not in love on Valentine’s Day. Nope. Oh, no, wait. February 14th. Just a run of the mill February day.

With a grunt, John shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, his feet now propped up on the coffee table in front of the couch. He frowned a bit, recalling the conversation he’d had with Dave earlier and how he was going on some great romantic date with someone while John sat at home, by himself, watching movies. John momentarily wondered what Dave was up to right now, but his thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. He sat still, ignoring it and hoping the person would go away, but the knocking persisted. John sighed and paused his movie, setting his ice cream down before heading to the front door and pulling it open.

As soon as the door was open John’s face was assaulted by a large bouquet of flowers, and he abruptly pulled away and fixed his slightly askew glasses so he could see who the offender was. John blinked, surprised to see Dave standing on the front porch bathed in the gradually setting sun’s light, dressed in a dark red v-neck with a black long sleeved shirt underneath and a pair of black pants, and with a dozen red roses in his hand. He’d pulled them away from John’s face when he’d moved back to fix his glasses, and he began fixing them and blinking again as if he were hallucinating.

“Dave?”

“The one and only. Close your mouth, Egbert. You know it’s rude to stare slack-jawed at people,” Dave replied, waving the bouquet slightly. “I mean, I know I’m drop dead gorgeous, but you don’t need to feed my ego.”

John flushed at the realization that he _was_ in fact slack-jawed, and he quickly closed his mouth and collected himself. “What are you doing here? Where’s your date?” he asked, peering around outside, expecting to see someone else close by.

“My date’s standing in a shirt and sweats and looking like a complete idiot right now,” Dave said, gesturing to John with his free hand. “Really, Egbert. You don’t expect to go out looking like that, do you?”

John would’ve pulled a mock look of hurt if he weren’t so surprised, or flustered, or _both_. Instead he stood up straight, giving up on looking for Dave’s date and thinking this was just a big joke and swallowed hard. “M-me?”

“Good god, John, you’re so dense,” Dave sighed, ushering John inside and closing the door behind them. “It’s a wonder your neck hasn’t snapped from the weight of that brick sitting in your skull. Yes, _you_.”

“But…but why?”

“John, stop asking questions and go take a shower and get dressed.” Dave said, still ushering John up the stairs so he wouldn’t stop and flounder around for answers or stutter out questions. Eventually, John did take a shower and scrambled into his room to get dressed, and Dave stood outside his door, the bouquet of roses still in his hand. It wasn’t too long before Dave heard the click of a door opening and John’s voice piping up.

“Uh, I’m ready I guess?”

Dave turned to see John dressed in a dark blue button down and a pair of dark grey pants, his hands nervously fumbling with the hem of his shirt as he smiled sheepishly at Dave, his buck teeth chewing his bottom lip. He pulled off a shirt and sweats well, and when he cleaned up he looked, well, gorgeous.

“You know it’s rude to stare slack-jawed at people.” John suddenly spoke, a smug smile on his face.  


Dave shut his mouth. “I wasn’t staring slack-jawed. I had started to yawn, but then I realized I’m way too fuckin’ cool to yawn and I stopped mid-way. Good try, though,” he replied, ignoring John’s brief eye roll. “So, let’s try this again.” he said, then held the bouquet of roses out to John, whose face was suddenly as red as the flowers as he took them nervously.

“I kind of forgot about these…”

“How could you forget about them? They were shoved in your face and I’ve been holding them the whole time. It’s not like they’re easy to miss, either.”

“Well, I mean, I just…” John stumbled for words, then took in a deep breath before looking at Dave with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Dave replied, quickly turning away and heading down the stairs in an attempt to hide his face. “We should get those in water before they wilt.” he called over his shoulder.

“Right!” John agreed and hurried after Dave and jogged into the kitchen, rummaging around in the cabinets with the roses still held tightly in one arm, finally finding a vase suitable enough and filling it with water. Dave watched from the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest.

He’d bought the roses mainly for ironic purposes since they were so cliché, but he’d kind of hoped John would like them, or at least appreciate the gesture. Luckily, it seemed as if he couldn’t have been happier.

“We ready now?” Dave asked as John placed the roses in the vase and smiled at them. He then turned to Dave, nodding happily.

“Yeah,” he followed Dave to the front door, both of them stepping out onto the porch and John quickly locking the door behind himself before jogging to catch up to Dave. “So, where are we going?” John questioned, reaching for the passenger door and snatching his hand away when Dave tried to smack it. He then opened the door for John, a crooked smirk on his face as John slid into the car while giving him a face.

“Let me be a gentleman or else I’m gonna hit you,” Dave warned, the crooked smile twisting into a larger grin. “Also, this means you’re the woman.”

“Dammit, Dave!”

Dave chuckled as he shut the car door and headed to the driver’s side, sliding in and turning the car on. “To answer your question by the way, we were gonna go eat but since you were stuffing your face with ice cream just a little bit ago I guess we’ll see a movie first so you can actually get your appetite back.”

“What movie?”

“You’ll see.” Dave said, pulling away from the curb and driving down the street. It wasn’t long until they were on the city streets, the both of them quiet as Dave drove. It wasn’t uncomfortable silence, but John began to look around Dave’s car out of boredom and curiosity. He’d been in the car plenty of times and there was nothing new save for something laying on the floor by his feet.

John leaned down and picked an envelope up, reading the name on the front and seeing it was addressed to him. He turned to Dave curiously. “Did you forget to bring this in with the roses?”

“Huh?”

“This card.”

Dave glanced at what John was holding in his hand, and suddenly he was reaching for the card quickly, trying to snatch it out of John’s hands.

“Whoa, Dave! What are you-- watch the road!” John cried, scooting away from Dave until he was pressed against the car door, the envelope still in his hands.

“John, give me that envelope.”

“But it’s for me!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Dave, it’s got my name on it.”

“No, you’re just seeing things. I think you need a new pair of glasses. Now give me the envelope.” Dave said, grabbing for the envelope while trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“Dude, why can’t I open it? It’s addressed to me. I’m so opening it.” John declared, sticking his thumb under the corner of the flap and tearing the envelope open. He was about to pull the card out, but suddenly the car jerked to the right as Dave _completely released the steering wheel_ and grabbed the card out of John’s hands.

“Oh man! Dave!” John cried, momentarily forgetting about the card as he grasped at his seatbelt for dear life, car horns blaring at them. Dave quickly threw the card as far back into his car as possible, then turned to the steering wheel as if nothing had happened. As John regained his composure he pouted at Dave, glancing into the back of the car, unable to find the card. He turned back around, still pouting, but it soon faded as the theatre came into view and all thoughts about Valentine’s Day cards and his near death experience was forgotten.

“Man, you look like an excited puppy. You better not piss in my car or else you’re riding on the roof on the way home.” Dave said, pulling into the theatre parking lot and looking for a parking space.

“Don’t tempt me,” John laughed, unbuckling when Dave finally parked and turned the car off. He opened the car door and climbed out, smoothing out his shirt and walking towards Dave after he got out and locked his car. “So, what movie are we seeing?”

“I already told you that you’ll see.” Dave insisted, heading towards the building with John at his side, bouncing excitedly as he walked. They approached the ticket booth, and Dave pulled out his wallet, ignoring the faces John was giving him.

“Two for Ghost Rider 2,” Dave could literally feel the excitement oozing off of John as he handed the person behind the counter some money. She handed him two tickets and his change, and after putting that away he tuned to John to see he was barely containing himself. “Are you even breathing, John? Dude, control yourself. Your man crush is showing.”

John laughed and grabbed the ticket Dave was holding out to him before running circles around Dave as they headed inside, John just too ecstatic to keep still for even a minute. They made their way to the theatre, Dave trying to get John to do some breathing exercises before he started hyperventilating, and eventually the two found a seat.

*****  


About two hours later and many a comment about Nic Cage’s terribad acting and getting yelled at by other movie goers by John’s loud retorts, the two headed out into the theatre lobby, Dave feeling as if he would’ve faired better flinging himself headfirst into a pool filled with smuppet ass, but glad that John was so happy.

“That was so great. Oh man, I don’t care what you say. Nic Cage is awesome.” John insisted, ignoring Dave’s head shaking.

“Yeah, whatever you say, John. I need to go home and find some brain bleach. Though I think it might be too late,” Dave replied, pushing the door open for John as they both stepped out into the night. It was colder out now, both of them shivering slightly despite their long sleeves. “Anyway, are you hungry?”

“We don’t have to get food, Dave. You already paid for the movie, and I don’t want to know how much the flowers cost.” John said, frowning a bit.

“Why are you tripping? Stop worrying about the cost and just fuckin’ enjoy yourself.” Dave said, elbowing John in the ribs. He elbowed back, and soon the two of them were elbowing and shouldering each other, trying to make the other stumble as they walked across the parking lot toward Dave’s car. Eventually Dave managed to get John to lose his balance, but he quickly grabbed John’s wrist to keep him from face planting and pulled him back. They stumbled against each other awkwardly, now face to face and rather close. John laughed sheepishly while Dave exhaled quickly before releasing John’s wrist and placing his hands in his pockets.

“Um, haha…” John murmured, scratching the side of his head.

“So, where do you wanna eat?” Dave asked, leaning against the trunk of his car.

“I don’t know. What places are open?” John shrugged, not bothering to think of any places they could go. He still didn’t feel all that hungry anyway.

“Okay, we’ll compromise. Since you obviously don’t want me to spend money on you, we can go to some fast food place, because I’m hungry and I’m _willing_ to spend money on you,” Dave said, looking at John. “Deal?”

“Fine, deal.”

So the two clambered back into Dave’s car and began their hunt for fast food that appealed to them, finally settling on a burger joint. They both ordered the biggest, greasiest heart-attack-in-a-bun burger as well as a large order of fries and a shake, Dave insisting they wait to eat until they find somewhere to chill.

Eventually Dave pulled into a deserted parking lot beside an equally deserted park, both of them wandering towards the slides and sitting at the highest part and tearing into their food. John bit into his burger, unaware of how hungry he actually was until he swallowed the first bite, grateful that Dave insisted on getting something to eat.

Dave set his half-eaten burger down on their spread out bag, taking the lid off of the shake and dipping a fry into it before popping it into his mouth.

“Ew, that’s gross.”

“Have you even tried it, Egbert?”

“No, but I don’t want to. That looks gross.”

“Haven’t you heard of the term ‘don’t knock it till you try it’? I’m gonna force feed you if I have to.”

“No!”

“Open wide. Here comes the Strider Express.” Dave said, shoving a French fry that had been dipped in the shake towards John, who backed away and shook his head. Dave then began to swing it like a small sword, flinging melted shake everywhere.

“Don’t brandish that thing at me, Strider!”

“Why? Afraid you’ll lose?”

“As much as I’d love to strife with you using Potatokind, I don’t think my clothing would appreciate it.” John laughed, waving away Dave and his offending French fry.

Dave just shrugged and ate it himself, the both of them finishing off the fries and shake separately before laying on their backs and looking at the sky. It was still cold out, but they were laying close enough to each other that they weren’t shivering as much. The two were quiet for a long time, both of them just admiring the stars and enjoying the company until John finally broke the silence.

“Thank you for tonight, Dave.” John murmured softly.

“No problem.”

John was quiet as he thought for a second, then rolled onto his side to look at Dave. “Why?”

“Why what?” Dave looked at John, one eyebrow quirked over his sunglasses.

“Why me?”

It was Dave’s turn to be quiet as he thought, and he looked back to the sky as he finally answered. “So you’re kind of a dork and I might think you’re kind of adorable in a derpy sort of way and I wanted to take your stupid self out on a date.” he said in one breath, not bothering to look at John for a response. He could feel John’s eyes on him, and suddenly John was laying on his stomach, his face still turned towards Dave with a big, dorky grin on his face.

“Dave?”

“Hm?” Dave finally risked a glance at John, who still had that giant smile on his face, then quickly leaned forward and kissed the corner of Dave’s mouth. Dave could feel his face warming up, though he tried to will the heat away as John pulled away with a nervous giggle.

They laid there for a few minutes longer before the cold finally forced them back to Dave’s car, figuring it was time to start on the trek back to John’s. It was quiet as normal, except on the way home John’s hand was clinging tightly to Dave’s.

It didn’t take long for them to reach John’s house, both of them ambling tiredly up the walk to the front door. It was an unspoken agreement that Dave would spend the night since he usually did almost every other day, and as they headed inside John gasped.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I left the ice cream out!”

Dave rolled his eyes and locked the front door as John grabbed the melted carton of ice cream, replacing the lid and heading into the kitchen so he could put it in the freezer. They then headed upstairs to John’s room, both of them changing into pajamas in silence and tossing their clothes into a pile on the floor.

“Can we watch a movie?”

“You already watched a movie, plus however many you saw before I came over.”

“But I didn’t watch Con Air…and I kind of really want to.”

“That’s a first. John Egbert didn’t watch Con Air? I think the world just fuckin’ shifted.”

“Shut up, Dave!” John laughed, then looked at the floor. “I didn’t watch it because I didn’t want to see the part where Nic’s character is reunited with his loving wife and daughter because I knew it’d make me sad, and then I thought you were out on some awesome ironic date and I just…sound stupid now and ye--” John was cut off as he was gently pressed against the wall closest to him, Dave’s mouth suddenly on his own. John replied by cupping Dave’s face, his eyes falling shut as they kissed. Gradually, Dave pressed himself against John, his hands resting lightly on his hips while John’s own hands wound up into blond hair, and suddenly Dave broke away, slightly breathless.

“Wha--?” 

“Just…one second. I’ll be right back.” Dave mumbled, kissing John multiple times before pulling away and heading out of the bedroom. John leaned against the wall, slightly dizzy from the kissing, then pushed himself away and headed for his bed, falling onto the edge and waiting for Dave to come back. The sound of the front door being closed and locked caused John to look up, and a moment later Dave was in the doorway, something in his hand.

“Where’d you go?”

“My car.”

“What for?”

Dave ignored John’s question and walked towards him, and John realized he was holding the ripped open envelope from earlier. “I didn’t forget to bring this in with your flowers.”

“Okay…?” John tilted his head slightly, realizing Dave was actually blushing now. “Are you gonna let me read it, or are we going to have another brush with death while you try and pry it out of my hands again?”

“This is almost as bad as that brush with death we almost had but didn’t because I totally had everything under control.” Dave said, his nerves fighting with his need to remain cool and calm.

John frowned.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way, I mean…” Dave shook his head, obviously giving up on speaking for the time being and held the envelope out to John.

He took it cautiously, keeping his eyes on Dave as he removed the card from the envelope before deciding it was actually safe to look at what was in his hands.

It was a simple card, the kind you found all over in stores and pharmacies. It was white with a big red heart on the front, and below was ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ in a small, cute script. John smiled and opened the card, seeing Dave stiffen just slightly. The inside of the card was just as simple as the outside, and in the center of it in Dave’s familiar handwriting were the words “I love you.”

John looked up at Dave now, his wide eyes searching Dave’s sunglasses. He got to his feet after a moment, gently setting the card on the bed, then reached for Dave’s sunglasses and lifted them up enough so he could see the red eyes that were always hidden.

Dave stared back, uncertainty and nervousness apparent in his gaze until John smiled, then all the anxiety and worry melted off of him in a rush. John said nothing as he completely removed the sunglasses and tossed them next to the card, then grabbed Dave’s face and kissed him. He didn’t need to say anything. Dave knew as soon as John smiled his big, dorky smile. He knew in the way John kissed him earlier, and how he was kissing him now. He knew by the way John couldn’t stop smiling or giggling, which made it hard to actually kiss, but finally after a few pull-aparts and try-agains the two settled under John’s covers, able to kiss without John giggling into Dave’s mouth.

Eventually they stopped kissing and just laid there, their eyes half lidded with sleep but willing each other to stay awake.

“Thank you again, Dave.” John mumbled sleepily.

“Any time.”

“Can we do this again next Valentine’s Day?”

“You think this is gonna be a yearly thing? You’ve got the wrong idea. Sorry, but you’re gonna have to deal with me attempting to do this stuff more often, and you’re gonna suck it up and deal with it like a fucking champ.”

John laughed and kissed Dave quickly, one of his hands winding up into Dave’s hair and playing with it. “I guess if I have to,” John said in a mock exasperated tone, kissing Dave again. “I’ll suck it up.”

“Damn straight you will.” Dave murmured, pulling John closer and kissing him.

It fell silent after a moment, the two of them slowly drifting to sleep, John curled against Dave’s chest while Dave had his face half buried in John’s hair.

“Dave?”

“Hnn?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Dave murmured into John’s hair, kissing the top of his head gently. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

John smiled and shut his eyes, inhaling slowly. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” he repeated softly before finally falling asleep.


End file.
